Comparison is a losing game...no cap

Now I've read plenty of articles on this topic, and most of them propagated the same things ( this one might do the same!) but being an accomplice to it for quite some time now, I decided that it was time to take matters into my own hands and write how I feel about it.

It is somehow ingrained in human nature and our psyche to compare, everyone does it , I do too. Even while I'm writing this article, I'm thinking of how its going to be perceived, will my blog be a fail ? and why am I not a blogger like Mark Manson?

These incessant questions keep popping up in my head and often distract me from the writing process. But soon enough I realized that they are nothing more than self-limiting beliefs that are entrenched in my head and just get more and more pronounced as I give them more heed and thought.

I soon found this pattern pretty repetitive , whenever I started something new - like pursuing a new hobby or a skill. While learning it ,whenever I made mistakes I used to always belittle myself and start comparing myself to people who were much more accomplished than me in that pursuit. That basically just stagnated my process of growth and led to a habit of me never sticking to a hobby - I used to just dabble into dozens of things, do it for a while, and then pursue something else.

That's probably why even my resume didn't have a concrete activity I could put, because I never really stuck to anything for a while and never had only one or two callings, I was all over the place!

I had a plethora of things I was interested in and did but never really attained mastery in any and eventually quit.

The reason was because I was so afraid of making mistakes that if I ever made any or did something wrong, I used to start feeling like 'maybe this isn't for me or I anyways am not going to pursue it in the future' and then leave it . But this had to stop and I needed to break this simulation.

So I stopped comparing and started doing stuff and actually sticking to it.

It really got so much easier focusing and bettering myself at the craft than succumbing to the addictive and meaningless cycle of comparison that basically got me nowhere.

I did again have a lot of interests but I tried to reduce the number and focused on a few and even segmented them so that I could grow and develop holistically. When it came to sports , I have never been a sports person ( I can't run to save my life!) but I was always partial to badminton and I loved playing it.

So I did. I went from just tossing in the court to proper coaching. In a matter of months, I can see a difference in the way I play.

I'm no Saina Nehwal but I love a good game of badminton!

When it comes to my creative pursuits I was always interested in singing, learning instruments ,dancing, and art.

After a while of dancing I realized dancing was not for me, so I started singing.

I enjoyed singing, and I started recording songs ( on my phone recorder) but then wanted to go a little further so I got a Ukulele and started playing it.

I didn't take lessons, I even tried You-tube videos but they didn't help, so I just started learning songs and learnt the chords of the songs I wanted to play.

I now have learnt a few songs and Sunday nights are reserved for a nice musical sesh!

With art, I took lessons. I now paint, quill and even do a bit of calligraphy. I honestly didn't think I could draw, let alone paint!

a lil something :) more like an amateur's works !

But I found out by taking a shot at it. The one thing I did right this time was that I didn't compare myself to anyone when I started, because it only slowed me down.

It also makes you feel inadequate and hopeless and by comparing we often are insulting ourselves constantly and even limiting our own potential.

So now whenever I feel hopeless, I try to do something instead.

I really don't wanna bore anyone by ranting about my stories ( assuming people read this blog ;) but like me I know there are many people out there who struggle with the toxicity of comparison and jealousy and in hopes of being of any kind of help I curated a list of things that help me battle and fight comparison ! ( might be oversaid and common but they help me, so hope this helps ! )

• Like many people even many of my insecurities are born off of social media, mainly Instagram, YouTube and Netflix and consuming it more inevitably accentuates those insecurities. So from time to time now I do a social media detox - it can be for a week, 3 days, a day or sometimes even for a month and Boy! does it feel refreshing ! All the negativity and toxicity gets awashed and I feel much more sane and human and even positive.

I feel like for me, my insecurities are many times about my body and the way I look, I'm conscious about the bags under my eyes, the size of my nose, the color of my lips, the stretch marks and also about my weight. But the irony is that I feel bad about these things but I just eat pizza while I'm scrolling down!

Tried for a nice sunkissed pic, but all I could see were the dark circles, undone brows, bulbous nose and weird lips. Oh and the hair, don't get fooled by it, its straightened !

(Though when I say comparison is useless I'm definitely not saying settle for less and don't improve yourself, I feel that way for me but if that is something you draw inspiration from to augment yourself, then stop reading ! ) (jk!)

• Follow accounts that only make you feel good about yourself , inspire you or motivate you. So I often never really check my phone in the morning, but in some rare case if I do, and happen to open Instagram, I feel okay because now I only follow a few accounts outside of whoever I know and those are the ones that convey positive self talk , motivation and make me hustle for a better day.

Accounts showing unattainable bodies, swanky vacations, and yacht pictures whilst sipping Pina coladas only make me feel inadequate and sorry for myself, thus I don't indulge in it anymore .

( I know, sometimes they even inspire people to embody that kind of a lifestyle but its counterproductive for me)

Unreal, impeccable & swanky but could get a little delusional

• Read (like self help books and blogs ), go for a run or exercises ( preferably outside), write ( its cathartic as hell) and eat healthy ( Hello, ceasor salad!) and then do the reps. I think these really helped me cope with anxiety and comparison. Oh and a hobby is cool too.

• Just do something. Like recently I have been into making designer sketches ( from Pinterest),it takes quite some time of my day but doing it really makes me happy and it also makes me feel good about myself! For me I feel good when I unleash my creative outlets, it can be anything you want !

I think these few things are my coping mechanisms when I deal with anxiety and have been helpful to a great extent for me but please do what works for you!

I hope I could be of some help!

In conclusion, Comparison is a drug if it is something you resort to instinctively when you are put in different situations. It leads to a vicious cycle and only gets worse.

I know its easier said than done (and I honestly consider myself inexplicably underqualified to give advice) but just snap out of it if it happens and maybe don't indulge in it in the first place.

But since as humans it happens, its okay , but don't let it eat on your mind and annihilate your sanity and peace, its really not deserving of that much !